A (very satirical) guide for English-speaking people who don’t know about politics of the last week in New France (aka Quebec)

A (very satirical) guide for English-speaking people who don’t know about politics of the last week in New France (aka the province of Quebec or that random place where they speak French in North America):

Charbonneau: The Charbonneau Inquiry is like a mix between a courtroom and a roast with Marlon Brando clones on it. However it is interesting because it led to the resignation of the mayor of 2 out of 3 biggest cities in Quebec while replacing them with people who were elected by the same party than the outgoing mayor. It’s also good to do drinking games with it as it is live on TV at prime time at 10 PM on Quebec’s local version of CNN. A world of caution, if you choose the I don’t know drinking game please call the Anti-Poison hotline as soon as possible. I have warned you, you will probably die by doing this drinking game.

Liberal Party of Quebec: (AKA the Trudeau-free party): The Liberal Party of Quebec is the oldest party still in operation in Quebec. However, except of being against another major party, nobody knows what they are standing for (or against). We however know that they love being in power since 1867.

The party is now in a leadership race to choose a new leader. You have three choices. One guy who is best known as a token physician who is former health minister who looks like Santa Claus well-educated and slimmer younger brother. The other who was giving donations to the other party (see Péquiste) until ten years ago and say that the most important thing in Quebec is  »being happy ». Due to the form of his ears, many suspect he was an extra in Lord of the Rings. The third one is the voice of the youth, but who is ironically older than the retiring party leader. Nobody knows much about him, except that he is the token third guy who is less known than the two others.

Péquiste: A péquiste is someone who is MP or member of the PQ. As opposed to the PQ term in France, it does not means toilet paper but rather a party which have in  »theory » the ultimate goal of doing independence sovereignty something for Quebec (which basically means having more money to spend and cutting bigger ribbons). However, all the other articles of the party are blurred and nobody knows what the party is about. A urban legend is that the current PQ government which is right now in power is the main source of power for all Quebec City because they flip-flop on a few many lots of things. This is perhaps why they have decided to close Quebec only nuclear power plant.

UPAC: The UPAC is not an university in Chicoutimi (see UQAC) nor a farmer’s union (UPA). It is instead a mixture of Elliott Ness and James Bond. If you see guys with a UPAC coat at your workplace, it’s probably best to get your coat because they will evacuate the building to seize some things and/or bags/brown envelopes of money.

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